Not feeling it!

I'm feeling a bit down on myself today.  I don't know why I have been struggling so much.  I feel hungry all the time, even if my belly is full.  I know it's in my head.  I do ok until late afternoon.  Then all hell breaks loose.  I am eating a balanced diet, but I find myself foraging later at night for something, anything!!!  I don't think I have ever had this problem last this long.  Normally I'll have a few hours or a day that I feel weak, but this isn't going away.  Perhaps I need a reason to loose the weight.  I don't really have one.  Yeah, I know I'll feel better, be healthier and look better in my clothes, but that doesn't seem to offer me enough motivation.  I wish someone would tell me I looked pudgy!  That always seemed to work in the past.  I just need a really good reason.  I have a cruise coming up, but that offers no push either. Maybe because I'm middle aged and really don't care that much how I look in a bathing suit.  Maybe I'm going through menopause! I heard that changes the way a woman feels.  I just don't seem to care enough.  My mind is more than willing, but my mouth is not cooperating....maybe I should think about all those extra pounds I'll be putting on during the cruise...I certainly don't want to gain weight.  Maybe it's because I've gotten a little comfortable at my current weight. I really don't know the answer to this. I'll have to do some thinking....hope you are not struggling as badly as I am..God help me!

I feel the PULL.

I officially started back on W.W. yesterday. I was all gung-ho. I cooked all kinds of healthy foods so I would have not only options, but no excuses. I did really well. I stayed busy planning for the week. My appetite was completely in control.  Last night before I settled in, I could feel the pang.  You know, that overwhelming feeling to eat everything.  It's the SUGAR CRAVE! It gnaws at the inside of you. Nothing seems to tame it.....well nothing but SUGAR.  I went to bed successful. However, when I got up, it was still there.  It was a twinge at first.  But then it began to escalate....As I write this blog right now, I want to eat an entire bag of Hershey's Morsels!!  Not sure what I can do. My Doc wants me to stay away from sugar completely. It's really really hard when your mind is telling you one thing and your body is telling you another. I can actually feel the physical need for it.  Perhaps I could try some fruit. Theoretically that should work. I 'll let you know.....Hope you are having a better day than I am!

Starting Fresh AGAIN!

Well the New Year is here and it's time to take off the Holiday poundage.  I can't bring myself to step on the scale yet. My estimate is that I put on 6-10 lbs. I cooked up a storm and ate everything. It felt good at the time but now I feel all boggy and swollen.  It's a good time to detox. I don't do anything fancy to detox. I just skip a few meals here and there to give my body a rest. I know I should drink lots of water, but that is ALWAYS a huge challenge for me because I am never thirsty in the cold months.  I'll need to put a pitcher of water out in clear view as a reminder and I'll  make sure I have a couple of water bottles in the car. Otherwise I  won't remember to drink.  Today I'll go through some recipes and modify them. Less oil, and less carbs. I refuse to cut out carbs completely. It will put me in a bad mood. I don't believe in cutting out the things I love the best because it will cause a binge at a later date.  My Doctor wants me to stay away from sugar and gluten. I  can try really hard to cut back. He thinks it might be causing some of my inflammation. Not so sure about that, but who knows? So, I'll be busy compiling my grocery list and trashing all the cakes and pies from the Holidays. Hope you get on board with me. I hate doing this alone!

Here we go AGAIN!

Well thanksgiving is over and I'm 5 lbs heavier. The food was so good and I couldn't resist eating it all for three days. Oh I said I wouldn't,  but that didn't happen.  A couple of weeks ago I was put on a no sugar, no gluten, no anything delicious or tasty diet by my Doctor. He believes that food sensitivities are contributing to my inflammation.  I was doing OK, although complaining all the way through it.  That was until THANKSGIVING! Oh how I love turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, antipasto, heavy crusted Sicilian bread.....you can have all the orange vegetables....I hate orange vegetables.  Anyway, I gave in.  Not just a little.... Oh NO, I ate everything.  I know I'm on Santa's Naughty List now.  Well of course all that food has caused great distress.  I'm bloated and feel like crap. I'm mad at myself for the lack of willpower.   I just don't get it.  Some days I am so strong, and other days I justify and give in.  Because I feel the extra weight and I'm really mad at myself, I'm going back on the diet. I still don't know how I am going to come up with all these new recipes. The testing showed I am sensitive to everything I love and normally eat on my diet.  I need to be up for this challenge. It ain't going to be easy. So of course I'm blogging because it makes me feel better and gives me a sense of accountability even if you really don't care. LOL.....hope you all did better than I did.  CHRISTMAS is coming!!!!

Don't listen to "THEM"

So I've been a little lax in blogging. Sorry but I've been a bit busy. I needed to write this post because I actually have something of value to say. At least I think I do. As you know, I've never been good at dieting and don't really pay too much attention to my weight....except of course when my friend handed me a cute little bridal picture book from her daughter's wedding complete with photos of me and the beautiful bride. At that very moment did I realize that I had put on a lot of weight! So with my own daughter's wedding coming up very soon, I decided to lose the weight I had packed on in the last 5 or 6 years. Now I'll get to the reason for this entry....To date I've lost 18 lbs. That is a lot of weight for me. I'm short and small boned. I defied EVERY rule that the "dieting experts" scream from the roof tops. Let me list them.... I still eat carbs... I eat candy every day ( because I really like it)... I skip meals... I NEVER eat breakfast... I don't exercise ( partly because I hate it, and partly because of physical limitations)... I eat way past 6:00 pm...in fact I probably take my last bite at 10:00 ( my bedside draw is filled with beef jerky, twizzlers, nerds and Dove chocolate)... I go out to dinner on Friday, Saturday and Sunday afternoon... I fast two meals every Monday... So, with all that said, YOU CAN still lose weight and not have to suffer! The key??? Very simple. AMOUNT! It's ALL about caloric intake. Learn to eat less amounts of the things you love. If I deprive myself of something I like or crave, then I'll just prolong the inevitable and eat it later anyway. On the days I over due it (weekends and parties) I fast two meals the following day. It takes away the guilt and it gives my body a chance to detox. So, that is my advise. Don't listen to the EXPERTS. Listen to what your body says.. ;)

Weekends ROCK!

The weight has been coming off very slowly.  I stick to the diet religiously from Monday thru Thursday but pretty much cheat on the weekends.  Probably why I'm loosing so slowly. However, because I "cheat" each weekend, I never really feel like I'm depriving myself. I think a lot of people get discouraged because they miss eating certain foods.  I, on the other hand look forward to it.  When Monday rolls around I fast until dinner. I know this sounds like a strange way to loose weight but it seems to work for me.  Don't get me wrong. I don't binge or anything. I just allow myself to eat whatever, as long as I don't over eat.  So far I've dropped one size and I feel happy about that. I'd like to loose another pant size before the wedding. That is my goal. I think everyone in my family is using the wedding as their goal too.  This is a big event for us. First wedding on my side. 

Do size 10 Jeans Count?

Well I wanted to get into a size 10. That was my first goal and I am happy to say I made it. However, a size 10 jean does not mean a size 10 pair of slacks or dress.  It just means that I was able to zip-up my old jeans. But, I'm happy about that.  I've lost about 7 lbs so far. I am suppose to weigh in on friday. I'm scared because I haven't lost anything in almost 2 weeks.  I suppose I should be positive and be satisfied that I didn't gain any weight either.  Thursday I start my hunt for a Mother-of-the-Bride dress.  I'll need to locate that girdle and pair of support hose!  I honestly HATE shopping. I wish someone would tell my husband how lucky he is to be married to me!  I am beginning to get sick of low-fat food. I am beginning to DESPISE salads.  I want a piece of fried fish loaded with tartar sauce. Oh, and french fries smoothered in vinegar and ketchup.  Why does all the yummy stuff have to be so bad for you?  And why  does all the healthy stuff soon begin to taste like cardboard!?  I hope this is a passing phase or else I am going to be in trouble. I feel my will-power slowly slipping away.  I need to re-focus. My daughter's wedding is in 6 months and at the rate I loose weight, that does not give me much time! 

Pass me the bowl of M&M's please.................

All in all things have been okay, but dieting is really really tough.  Weekends are brutal. Yummy food is everywhere.  I had every intention of sticking to my guns this weekend, but I blew it on Sunday! And I wonder why it takes me FOVEVER to lose weight!!!!  I am down about 7 lbs. I won't complain too much because I am happy. My hubby wanted to get on board with me and guess what? He lost 5 lbs in 2 days! I could scream................  Two days?! Five lbs takes me more than  5 weeks! Something just not fair about that. Anyway, today is Monday and I will be back on track.  Had some water weight issues this past week so I may hold off weighing myself for another day or two. 
For dinner, I made an altered version of my stuffed peppers. I cut red peppers lengthwise and tried a combination of ground turkey and ground chicken. I  sauted the meat in 1 Tbsp oil and some water and then seasoned it with garlic salt, onions and green peppers. I then added the packaged brown gravy, and mixed in some cooked basmati rice. It was actually bettter tasting than the original recipe. Eating and preparing healthy low-fat foods is not my problem. It's the WEEKENDS! My problem is when I have no control over what I make.  My confession......yesterday I munched on tortilla chips, dip, cream cheese spread, and M&M's. Then I topped it off with the low-fat strawberry Angel-food cake I made!  I could hardly move. I was so full! Not to mention...mad at myself.  It seems the only way I can make up for the guilt is to fast a meal or two the day after I pig-out. It appears to work both psychologically and physically. So, I guess I won't be eating until tonight!

Cake , Ice Cream and Hormones

I did pretty well last week sticking to my diet. Friday was weigh-in day and I gained a half pound! I was ticked off and felt like eating macaroni and meatballs after the bad news....BUT, I knew better. I've been through this a dozen times. Every time I diet my body goes into shock. I know that sounds pathetic because it's not like I'm starving myself. But nonetheless, it tells my brain to hold onto water so I can maintain the weight. Usually a week will go by and then I pee it all out. So I cheated and weighted myself again today. I dropped 2 more pounds. Now that may not seem like a lot to you, especially you guys, but that's 8 sticks of butter! I am pretty happy about that.
Today I ate an enormous salad. I put a half cup of fat free cottage cheese on it for protein. I actually felt kind of sick soon after I ate it. Maybe it was a little too much fiber and sometimes fiber can be rough on the stomach. But I felt better after I digested it. I'll confess, for supper I ate a small piece of cake. It was a birthday cake. At the very least, I stayed within my daily caloric intake. I am craving sugar and will for another day or so. It happens every month. So, I'll eat the sugar or I will run down anyone who crosses my path. I think sugar is the prudent choice, don't you? In conclusion, I continued my sugar binge with some low fat ice cream and caramel rice cakes but managed not to over eat. Tomorrow I will concentrate on eating healthier foods. Hope you all did well!

No fried Shrimp for me!

Today I feel tired and it was tough to get out of bed. The Lyme meds are starting to work because they actually make you feel worse before you feel better. Although I have no desire to cook, I'll make a quick buffalo pizza for the kids. I may have a piece for dinner or just eat another bowl of chicken soup. I'll see how I'm feeling. It's a good idea to have canned soup (without MSG ) on hand. It's a quick, nutritious, low cal meal and quite satisfying. Another good tip is to have fresh or canned fruit available at all times. Make sure the canned fruit is packed in fruit juice, not syrup. And don't drink the juice! It's too high in sugars and too much sugar makes you crave more sugar. The other day I felt like having something sweet and nothing was going to change my mind. So, I decided to cut up an apple and dip it in fat free caramel. Ok, so I know it was sugary, but at least it was a much better choice than eating the red velvet cake I had displayed in my cake dish. I know I can only change so much. That is a reality. However, I CAN try to make better choices. I was proud of myself yesterday, so allow me to brag while I can. I took my dad out for his birthday. He chose Chinese. One of my favorites! Of course I love the fried shrimp and battered chicken..but I made a choice to have the steamed vegetables with brown sauce on the side. I also had about 1/2 cup of white rice instead of the fried rice. Now let me add that I struggled with this decision for about 10 minutes before ordering! The waitress then dropped a bowl of fried wontons on our table and they began whispering. I decided to just have a taste instead of eating the whole bowl! Fried foods are a weakness for me, so I really felt I accomplished something. I felt satisfied in my belly even though my head felt differently at the time. But I will say, that when evening came, I was proud of myself. One day at a time. Self control is a process. A really hard process.

On the Road Again.....

I am back on track, and I feel much better. Weekdays are easy for me because I have control over what I cook and what is in my fridge. It's the weekends that kill me. It's pretty hard to eat out and eat low calorie healthy foods. But I LOVE the dining out experience and I know I won't give that up. I'm too old to suffer like that. I just have to learn to better navigate the menus. Today I made a giant pot of peppery chicken soup. Hopefully it will stay in my house more than two days. My kids and husband love soup. I do too. It's a true comfort food, especially on cold evenings like tonight. Today is Valentine's Day and my husband was wise in buying me flowers and not chocolates. I will try not to sneak any of my daughter's candy! I figured out that my will-power purely depends on how I feel when I wake up. I just don't get it. What makes one day so different from the next? Now granted, I know some "hormonal" days beg for chocolate and it can be a bad thing if I don't get it! But what about all the other days? Some mornings I feel so positive and borderline enthusiastic about losing weight. And then other days, I could give a rats rump. I think if I could figure out that mystery then maybe, just maybe, I could stick to my diet better. Happy Valentine's Day!

Weekends are WAAAAY too Hard!

Well, what can I say? I have no excuse. I did ok during the weekend after my pigfest on Superbowl Sunday. I didn't loose any weight but I didnt gain any either.  It was disappointing.  So to top it all off, I blew it again this weekend!  It was my husband's birthday and I made one of his favorite home-cooked German dishes called Ruladen. It took me 6 hours to prepare. And then I accompanied it with 2 types of spaetzla, 2 kinds of gravy, dumplings and some spinach.  For dessert I made a banana cream pie instead of the traditional birthday cake.  EVERYTHING was SUPER FATTENENING!!!  Butter, cream, sour cream, bacon fat, beef fat.......I could feel my arteries clogging with every tasty bite.  And then the following day my son invited our family friends over for a game night.  Pizzas and CHIPS and CHIPS and cakes and pie and more junk food....I was out of control.  Why do I do this? Why can't I just say no? I feel like crap today. I am all swelled up with water. No doubt way too much sodium.  I'll have to fast a couple of meals again to purge myself of all the rubbage I have floating around in my body.  I truly hope you all did better than I did.  I am mad at myself and feel it's hard to stay positive right now.

#23 It's a beautiful morning.

Well yesterday was a success. I stayed well within my points and I feel much better.  I think fasting the first two meals was a good idea. It gave my body time to recuperate from all the junk I fed it the night before.  For dinner I made a big pot of Chicken Soup.  I'll eat that again tonight. I could eat it all week if it lasted that long. However, with 5-6 people living in this house, food doesn't stick around that long. 
I am currently in a flare-up of Lyme disease. It really sucks the energy from me. My muscles and joints are in pain all day and night. I went to see my Lyme Doctor and he started me on some Chinese herbs. I am glad that there are some conventional docs who chose to use unconventional methods.  I've used them in the past and they do work. It can be a rough road in combatting the little buggers but I know eventually I'll feel good again. You never really get rid of Lyme if it wasn't caught early enough.  Anyway, today I feel good about my diet. Hopefully tonight I will be able to stick to it because I will be getting together with some friends again. That can always be a challenge. I'll let you know how I make out when faced with all those goodies.....

#22 I Blew it Again!

Well, I blew it again! I made hot wings, nachos and pizza for my husband for Superbowl Sunday. I was planning on just leaving it on the sofa table and then heading back upstairs to read or play a game. However, the food seduced me and I bit! I only had 3 wings and 1 little piece of pizza, but I lost it on the nachos. I ate them all so quickly, as if someone was going to steal them from me! I felt like crap after the pig fest was over. I had such good intentions. What went wrong? I really can't answer that? I couldn't rationalize it, yet I still over indulged. Why do I feel like I need to overeat in order to be psychologically satisfied? That is probably a question that eventually needs to be answered. I am not addicted to food per say, I just tend to overeat foods I really really like. I love nachos. Maybe I should have made foods I'm not that crazy about. Oh well. What's done is done. All I can do is move on and start again. So when I got up this morning, I fasted 2 meals and then had some homemade chicken soup. It will take me another day to level things out. Was it worth it? Probably not. But it is what it is and I thank God that tomorrow is a new day. Hope you all did better than I did!

Blog #21 Oh Happy Day!

Well I am pleasantly surprised once again. I weighted in at 148lbs.  I lost all but a half pound of what I had gained over the holidays so I am almost back to where I left off.  Last night I did pretty well considering the food I served my family and guest.  I think my husband was elated he could eat some normal food instead of the small portion low fattening foods I've been serving him.  We had good ole meatloaf and mashed potatoes.  Because I was having a guest, I did not skimp on the fat. I used butter and sour cream and 80% hamburger. Although I ate everything, I was sure to eat small portions and not go back for seconds. After dinner we had coffee and I even indulged in a sliver of chocolate cake. It tasted so yummy. I was a little disappointed when it was all gone....  Oddly enough when I got up to tally my points this morning, I discovered that I stayed within my limit.  So....No Guilt!  Because I ate MEAT before bedtime, I still feel full and bloated. I just can't seem to digest the stuff. 
Today I will try to behave. Not sure what I will do for supper yet because we normally go out to eat on fridays.  Maybe I'll make a "picky plate" and treat myself to a glass of wine(if my stomach can handle it). Hope you all have a good and successful weekend!

#20 Will I ever be a size 10 again?

I'm actually doing pretty well and have stuck to the dietary changes so far. I am having a guest for dinner tonight so I did not cook "healthy" so to speak. So I will take very small portions of the meatloaf, gravy, stuffing and mashed potatoes. I hope I can say no to the chocolate cake I made. If not, I'll settle for a sliver. Tomorrow is WEIGH IN day! Now I know that I usually don't loose the first week or so because my body holds fluid when I begin to diet, so I will need to be patient and not give up because the scale is lying to me. I actually do feel a little weight loss. My pants feel more comfortable. I am taking my youngest daughter to the mall on Sunday to go dress shopping for her. I MIGHT have the courage to try a few dresses on myself. At some point soon I will need to pour this body into a mother of the bride dress.
I really hope I can get down to a size 10.
I was going to join water aerobics, however my body is not ready for exercise yet. I need to take it super slow. I went to a therapist who gave me a very light workout and I am not only sore, but the nerve pain has been fierce. It's not easy loosing weight when you can't exercise and boost your metabolism. But I have no choice at this point. I so need to take this extra baggage off! Please feel free to leave comments or suggestions. We are all battling this horrible monster together.

Blog #19.

So last night was pretty ok. I actually stayed within my points even with the cherry pie whispering my name. Today I am in lots of pain and need to take my pain meds. I tend not be as hungry while in pain so I guess you could call that a positive. Tonight I will make a chicken stir fry with basmati rice. Please keep in mind that I cook for a large family so you can cut the ingredients in half.

Chicken tenders( you can marinate the chicken for a few hours if u have the time)
Teriyaki marinade or soy sauce mixed with a little brown sugar
Bag of frozen broccoli florets
Can of water chestnuts
Can of baby corn
Can of bean sprouts
Sesame seeds
( feel free to substitute or add different vegetables)

Sauté chicken in a little marinade until cooked. Drain and Set aside
Cook all the veggies using the marinade also. Cook until aldente.
Mix chicken with veggies and serve over some rice. Garnish with sesame seeds
Delicious, nutritious and low fat.

So how are you all doing? You know who you are

Blog #18 The Hunt Begins

Since I am trying to follow "Weight Watchers", I have to write down everything I eat and tally the points as I go along.  I am allowed 26 points per day. Any expert will tell you that the only way to reduce your weight is to reduce your caloric intake (especially if you are not active). That's why fad diets don't last. All they do is play tricks with your brain and body and as soon as you go off the diet, the weight comes right back on. Now since supper is my favorite meal, I prefer to save the points for evening. So I need to be smart and find low point (low calorie) foods to eat for breakfast and lunch.  This takes some time and effort but it's sort of like a game or a hunt. I just found a wonderful high protein breakfast food...Egg Beaters. They are 0 points! So I had 2 servings and a piece of lite italian toast with strawberry jam for breakfast.  The whole thing was only 1 point.  Now that's a find! For lunch I'll have a salad piled high with veggies and a low fat dressing. I mix a little water with the dressing to make it spread more evenly..nice little trick.  I have a busy evening so for supper I will eat a left-over stuffed pepper (which by the way, came out delicious). I think today will be a good day. I have lots to keep me busy. The only challenge will be getting together with some of my friends tonight. I love to have coffee, chat and snack!  Maybe I should pack a snack. Yeah, that's probably the wise thing to do.  I have to make a practice to always plan ahead. Otherwise I will get sucked into the temptation of the food abyss!  Nothing but evil lurking in there!!!

Blog #17 Today is a New Day

So, I wasn't an angel over the weekend, but I could have been a lot worse.  I ate chinese food on Saturday and blew up like a tick the next day because of all the extra sodium. Was it worth it? Probably not, because the food wasn't that great. I hate when that happens!. But today is a brand new day and I just might  have the courage to step on the scale and get an idea of what my weight actually is.  I 'll let you know tomorrow. I feel good about my diet today. The weekdays are much easier than the weekends.  No matter what way you slice it, it just is not easy to eat out and keep the calories low.  Although I must say Chelo's has quite a few healthy options. Plug, Plug... Anyway, tonight I will make another favorite.  Stuffed Peppers.

1 lb ground Turkey
6 green peppers (slice tops off and set aside)
Chop the tops of the peppers into small pieces
Chop 1/2 onion
Garlic salt
pepper
2 packs McCormacks Brown Gravy (prepared)
1 1/2 cups rice cooked and set aside.

Brown turkey in non stick pan. Add a tsp of olive oil and a little water so turkey doesnt stick. Add garlic salt and pepper to taste. Drain.
In a bowl, mix together cooked turkey, chopped onion and pepper, cooked rice and prepared brown gravy.
Place peppers in a shallow baking dish and add 1/2 inch of water to bottom of dish.  Stuff each pepper and bake at 350 oven for about 30 minutes. I like my peppers aldente.  But you can cover with foil and cook a bit longer if you'd like.
I will probably make some veggie like Broc Rabe or maybe a salad to go along with it.
For a snack later in the evening I will plan to have a serving of slow churned ice cream. If I'm still feeling like I need to forage for food later at night then I will have a bag of low fat popcorn and a cup of decaf tea.  I find that planning my meal and snacks ahead of time helps tremendously. It's probably a "control" thing.
So what are your plans???

Blog #16 Misery LOVES Company

I received some feedback about the blog. A few people have interest in joining along. I realize that accountability to another person or persons can be very helpful when trying to lose weight. One person suggested that we "weigh in" each week. Of course I would never expect anyone to reveal their weight, however if you would like to post your weight loss or God forbid your weight gain, then perhaps we could include that in the comments section. Totally up to you, but I think it's a good idea. Maybe we could even post our favorite recipes. I'm always looking for new ideas. So think about it.
Today I have a busy day planned. I'll eat a bowl of grapenuts with dried cranberries and head out. Tonight instead of going out to dinner like usual, I will make my favorite burgers. Now I must confess that I am pretty new to ground turkey. I tried it once many years ago and it sucked, so I never bought it. However, what I failed to realize about this awesome low fat alternative to ground beef, was that if flavored correctly....it can be VERY delicious. Here's how I make them....
1 lb ground turkey
1/4 c Franks Buffalo Sauce
Seasoned Bread Crumbs (enough that it all sticks together well)
May add one EGG
(note: turkey is much wetter than beef so go easy on the bread crumbs. Cooking will reduce most of the moisture)

Shape into Patties
Spray griddle or pan with Pam
Cook on med until thoroughly cooked.
Serve on LOW FAT Wheat hamburg roll.
Top with tomato and lettuce, ketchup and mustard. Ooh and pickles too.

About 7 pts if you are doing Weight Watchers.

Although I would love to eat this with some nice crunchy kettle chips, I'll have to find an alternative like a side salad with 2 tsp low fat dressing.
Come on......we can suffer together. Hehe