Not feeling it!

I'm feeling a bit down on myself today.  I don't know why I have been struggling so much.  I feel hungry all the time, even if my belly is full.  I know it's in my head.  I do ok until late afternoon.  Then all hell breaks loose.  I am eating a balanced diet, but I find myself foraging later at night for something, anything!!!  I don't think I have ever had this problem last this long.  Normally I'll have a few hours or a day that I feel weak, but this isn't going away.  Perhaps I need a reason to loose the weight.  I don't really have one.  Yeah, I know I'll feel better, be healthier and look better in my clothes, but that doesn't seem to offer me enough motivation.  I wish someone would tell me I looked pudgy!  That always seemed to work in the past.  I just need a really good reason.  I have a cruise coming up, but that offers no push either. Maybe because I'm middle aged and really don't care that much how I look in a bathing suit.  Maybe I'm going through menopause! I heard that changes the way a woman feels.  I just don't seem to care enough.  My mind is more than willing, but my mouth is not cooperating....maybe I should think about all those extra pounds I'll be putting on during the cruise...I certainly don't want to gain weight.  Maybe it's because I've gotten a little comfortable at my current weight. I really don't know the answer to this. I'll have to do some thinking....hope you are not struggling as badly as I am..God help me!

I feel the PULL.

I officially started back on W.W. yesterday. I was all gung-ho. I cooked all kinds of healthy foods so I would have not only options, but no excuses. I did really well. I stayed busy planning for the week. My appetite was completely in control.  Last night before I settled in, I could feel the pang.  You know, that overwhelming feeling to eat everything.  It's the SUGAR CRAVE! It gnaws at the inside of you. Nothing seems to tame it.....well nothing but SUGAR.  I went to bed successful. However, when I got up, it was still there.  It was a twinge at first.  But then it began to escalate....As I write this blog right now, I want to eat an entire bag of Hershey's Morsels!!  Not sure what I can do. My Doc wants me to stay away from sugar completely. It's really really hard when your mind is telling you one thing and your body is telling you another. I can actually feel the physical need for it.  Perhaps I could try some fruit. Theoretically that should work. I 'll let you know.....Hope you are having a better day than I am!

Starting Fresh AGAIN!

Well the New Year is here and it's time to take off the Holiday poundage.  I can't bring myself to step on the scale yet. My estimate is that I put on 6-10 lbs. I cooked up a storm and ate everything. It felt good at the time but now I feel all boggy and swollen.  It's a good time to detox. I don't do anything fancy to detox. I just skip a few meals here and there to give my body a rest. I know I should drink lots of water, but that is ALWAYS a huge challenge for me because I am never thirsty in the cold months.  I'll need to put a pitcher of water out in clear view as a reminder and I'll  make sure I have a couple of water bottles in the car. Otherwise I  won't remember to drink.  Today I'll go through some recipes and modify them. Less oil, and less carbs. I refuse to cut out carbs completely. It will put me in a bad mood. I don't believe in cutting out the things I love the best because it will cause a binge at a later date.  My Doctor wants me to stay away from sugar and gluten. I  can try really hard to cut back. He thinks it might be causing some of my inflammation. Not so sure about that, but who knows? So, I'll be busy compiling my grocery list and trashing all the cakes and pies from the Holidays. Hope you get on board with me. I hate doing this alone!

Here we go AGAIN!

Well thanksgiving is over and I'm 5 lbs heavier. The food was so good and I couldn't resist eating it all for three days. Oh I said I wouldn't,  but that didn't happen.  A couple of weeks ago I was put on a no sugar, no gluten, no anything delicious or tasty diet by my Doctor. He believes that food sensitivities are contributing to my inflammation.  I was doing OK, although complaining all the way through it.  That was until THANKSGIVING! Oh how I love turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, antipasto, heavy crusted Sicilian bread.....you can have all the orange vegetables....I hate orange vegetables.  Anyway, I gave in.  Not just a little.... Oh NO, I ate everything.  I know I'm on Santa's Naughty List now.  Well of course all that food has caused great distress.  I'm bloated and feel like crap. I'm mad at myself for the lack of willpower.   I just don't get it.  Some days I am so strong, and other days I justify and give in.  Because I feel the extra weight and I'm really mad at myself, I'm going back on the diet. I still don't know how I am going to come up with all these new recipes. The testing showed I am sensitive to everything I love and normally eat on my diet.  I need to be up for this challenge. It ain't going to be easy. So of course I'm blogging because it makes me feel better and gives me a sense of accountability even if you really don't care. LOL.....hope you all did better than I did.  CHRISTMAS is coming!!!!

Don't listen to "THEM"

So I've been a little lax in blogging. Sorry but I've been a bit busy. I needed to write this post because I actually have something of value to say. At least I think I do. As you know, I've never been good at dieting and don't really pay too much attention to my weight....except of course when my friend handed me a cute little bridal picture book from her daughter's wedding complete with photos of me and the beautiful bride. At that very moment did I realize that I had put on a lot of weight! So with my own daughter's wedding coming up very soon, I decided to lose the weight I had packed on in the last 5 or 6 years. Now I'll get to the reason for this entry....To date I've lost 18 lbs. That is a lot of weight for me. I'm short and small boned. I defied EVERY rule that the "dieting experts" scream from the roof tops. Let me list them.... I still eat carbs... I eat candy every day ( because I really like it)... I skip meals... I NEVER eat breakfast... I don't exercise ( partly because I hate it, and partly because of physical limitations)... I eat way past 6:00 pm...in fact I probably take my last bite at 10:00 ( my bedside draw is filled with beef jerky, twizzlers, nerds and Dove chocolate)... I go out to dinner on Friday, Saturday and Sunday afternoon... I fast two meals every Monday... So, with all that said, YOU CAN still lose weight and not have to suffer! The key??? Very simple. AMOUNT! It's ALL about caloric intake. Learn to eat less amounts of the things you love. If I deprive myself of something I like or crave, then I'll just prolong the inevitable and eat it later anyway. On the days I over due it (weekends and parties) I fast two meals the following day. It takes away the guilt and it gives my body a chance to detox. So, that is my advise. Don't listen to the EXPERTS. Listen to what your body says.. ;)

Weekends ROCK!

The weight has been coming off very slowly.  I stick to the diet religiously from Monday thru Thursday but pretty much cheat on the weekends.  Probably why I'm loosing so slowly. However, because I "cheat" each weekend, I never really feel like I'm depriving myself. I think a lot of people get discouraged because they miss eating certain foods.  I, on the other hand look forward to it.  When Monday rolls around I fast until dinner. I know this sounds like a strange way to loose weight but it seems to work for me.  Don't get me wrong. I don't binge or anything. I just allow myself to eat whatever, as long as I don't over eat.  So far I've dropped one size and I feel happy about that. I'd like to loose another pant size before the wedding. That is my goal. I think everyone in my family is using the wedding as their goal too.  This is a big event for us. First wedding on my side. 

Do size 10 Jeans Count?

Well I wanted to get into a size 10. That was my first goal and I am happy to say I made it. However, a size 10 jean does not mean a size 10 pair of slacks or dress.  It just means that I was able to zip-up my old jeans. But, I'm happy about that.  I've lost about 7 lbs so far. I am suppose to weigh in on friday. I'm scared because I haven't lost anything in almost 2 weeks.  I suppose I should be positive and be satisfied that I didn't gain any weight either.  Thursday I start my hunt for a Mother-of-the-Bride dress.  I'll need to locate that girdle and pair of support hose!  I honestly HATE shopping. I wish someone would tell my husband how lucky he is to be married to me!  I am beginning to get sick of low-fat food. I am beginning to DESPISE salads.  I want a piece of fried fish loaded with tartar sauce. Oh, and french fries smoothered in vinegar and ketchup.  Why does all the yummy stuff have to be so bad for you?  And why  does all the healthy stuff soon begin to taste like cardboard!?  I hope this is a passing phase or else I am going to be in trouble. I feel my will-power slowly slipping away.  I need to re-focus. My daughter's wedding is in 6 months and at the rate I loose weight, that does not give me much time!